Conversations with God

woman-raised-eyebrow_~1830649I always tell friends that when I get to Heaven I’m going to discuss certain things with God. The reason for mosquitos. Why the wind never stops blowing in the Texas Panhandle. The thinking behind the creation of certain things. Stuff like that. Here’s how I think our conversation about goat heads (aka puncture vine) would go.

Me: So…about goat heads…

God: Goats have to have heads. They’d look strange without them.

Me: Ha, ha. You know what goat heads I’m talking about.

God: Hmmm….I might know something about that kind of goat head too.

Me: Yeah, I bet you do. You did create the whole world and stuff.

God: (silence, shuffles feet, finally meets my eyes)

Me: What was your thinking there man? I’m going to create a weed that chokes out other plants, grows stickers that can cripple any animal or person who steps on them, and isn’t food for anything.

God: Well, yeah….sort of my thinking.

Me: Seriously?

God: Yeah…..I just…

Me: You were drunk when you made goat heads weren’t you?

God: Absolutely not.

Me: (stares, raises one eyebrow)…..Really?

God: (drops head in shame)….I was drunk.

Me: I thought so.

God: It seemed like a really funny idea at the time.

Me: Yeah, no idea is a good idea when it is created by alcohol.

God: Well I know that now.

5 comments

  1. Office Diva · July 10, 2013

    I think he made those goatheads right AFTER he created the Texas Panhandle, just for you! lol. Cheers from a fellow Texas (South Central).
    Looking forward to future posts!

    • writerelise · July 10, 2013

      Thanks! You’re probably right. Future posts will be coming right after I go spray more goatheads.

      • Office Diva · July 10, 2013

        I liked you first, I liked you first! Hooray for meeee! Didn’t realize that that was your first blog post. You seem like a pro, though…….maybe have another blog stashed somewhere?
        I almost feel sorry for the goatheads.

      • writerelise · July 10, 2013

        You’re so sweet. I’ve written for ages. Hoping to start, finish and publish my first novel in the next few years. I did have a blog a few years ago but took it down when life made me neglect it. Maybe I’ll post some of my greatest hits here every once in a while.

      • Office Diva · July 10, 2013

        Looking forward to that. Good luck w/ the novel. I’m not very good w/ fiction, better at creative non-fiction. So here I sit…….ciao!

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