I’ve been rather scarce lately. Sorry about that my loyal few. Life has gotten in the way as of late. To make a long story short, money has been tight and this week, along with the start of a new semester of grad school, everything sort of crashed down on me. My beloved car went into the shop and came out with an estimate for $3000 in repairs. I feel like I just lost a family member. Also, it is possible I get too attached to my cars. But Rabbit and I have had so much fun. Yes, I named my car. Don’t judge me and my obsession with naming things or I’ll sick my truck, Big Green, on you. But that’s not the point of my post today.
My point is that with all the crap that has been going on, and my staggering lack of cash, I’ve had to swallow my pride in a big way and accept some help lately. For some reason, accepting help feels like failing to me. It’s an issue I have. I’ve prayed about it for ages. And lately the Big Guy has been schooling me on this. This week I think I finally got it. Accepting help when you’re struggling takes more strength than clinging to your pride and standing alone.
I have no idea why it has been so hard for me to learn this lesson. I’m always more than willing to help others. But when help comes my way…
Well let’s just say I’m a bit mule-headed about accepting help. I have no clue where it comes from but I’m more stubborn than a herd of mules.
This week, God opened my eyes. I have all of these wonderful people around me just opening their arms, saying “Let me help you.” He had to put me in a position where accepting their help was the only option to get me to listen to Him. But I did. I let my birth mom help me. I let my adoptive parents help me. My cousin helped me. My friend ML helped me. My friend MCH helped me. My friend S threw back my own words at me – Don’t borrow trouble. Have faith. It will work out okay because He will take care of you. This week I saw how very blessed I really am.
One of my favorite Bible verses is Psalms 46:10 – Be still and know that I am God. Today, after one of the worst weeks in my adult life, I will be still. I will give up the worries and the stress to a higher power. Broader shoulders than mine will carry this weight for me. And I will be still, accept help, and trust that God will see me through the storm ahead.