Staying Single…On Purpose

I don’t post about it a lot but I’m a single gal. On purpose. Permanently. By choice.

For those of you that think marriage or a partnership of some kind is the end all, be all, please go back and read that first paragraph again. Let it sink in. Ready? Let’s go on then.

I have never wanted kids. I have never wanted a husband. I’ve never really even wanted a boyfriend. For a while, in my teens and early twenties, I thought I did. Then I realized I only wanted those things because I’d been trained to want them.

So I called bullshit on that and changed my thinking.

It took a while to shake that conditioning but it was worth it. I’m happiest on my own.

Simply put, I don’t like other people in my space for very long.

Being a deeply introverted animal person I have always preferred animals to humans. They’re easier to be around. No judgment (except from my old lady cat, but that’s another story). No meaningless conversation. They don’t care about my job, my income, my clothes, my hairstyle, or any of that other junk. They like food and chilling out. Just like me.

I’m also pretty terrible at relationships. When I was in high school I dumped a guy right after we started going out because I was instantly bored with him. It wasn’t his fault. I was just done once the chase was over.

I can’t speak for other introvert artist types but I also kinda forget about people. I spend a lot of time deep in my own head focused on my own creative work that I forget about the people in my world. I forget to call or text, to check in with the world. I think about my people all the time. I just forget about the actual speaking to them part of a relationship.

I’m honestly surprised folks put up with me.

Thankfully my people understand that they have to be the initiator in social interactions. They have to get me to do things. I’m lucky to have people who understand and think I’m worth all that effort.

Occasionally, I’ll think that things would be better if I’d married. I’m in the middle of buying a new house. That would definitely be easier with a husband. But only for the second income and the heavy lifting. When my multiple health issues crash down on me I sometimes wish for a second person in the house. But only to bring me food and reheat my heating pad.

Thankfully, I realized in my mid-twenties that only wanting a partner around when you needed something from them wasn’t right or fair. For either of us.

Now, happily single at 41, I have zero regrets.

I am built for a single life. I like my own company. I’m deeply independent and love being able to stand on my own two feet. I have wonderful, rich friendships with amazing, diverse people. I have time to volunteer. I have time to pursue any creative project I choose. I have an ever-growing relationship with the Lord.

I’m happy and blessed with a wonderful life. I need nothing more.

One comment

  1. Celestial · August 24

    This post makes me think of
    1 Corinthians 7:8 and 7:38.
    Nothing wrong with being single.

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